


Brighter Than The Sun

by RuinedbyAnders



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3910885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuinedbyAnders/pseuds/RuinedbyAnders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is where I'll plop down my Dragon Age drabbles, usually written from <a href="http://sapphu-is-ruined.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a> prompts. All pairings and appropriate warnings will be given at the beginning of each chapter. Tags may be sort of all over the place as it grows. Feel free to plop down prompts in comments if you'd like!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When the World Stopped Spinning

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Anders/M!Hawke. Established Relationship.  
> Relevant tags: Panic Attacks, Alternate Universe: College/University
> 
> Prompt: "UH small modern handers au, they take a car and drive out to a field at night and watch the stars? "

Anders watched as the city passed them by, whooshing past his window in a dizzying array of bright lights colored red and blue and white. He was curled up in his seat, hugging his knees to his chest while his head rested against the window pane. His gaze, though intent, was unseeing. He felt disconnected from it all: floating in limbo, not quite attached to his limbs, not a part of this world that seemed so fleeting and unreal.  
  
Sometimes, if he turned his head just so, he could see Garrett in stark profile, deep shadows passing over his face as they drove. Sometimes the dark-haired youth – his lover – would cock his head to the side and just _look_ at him, concern creasing his brows in a deep furrow, but the sight of it only made Anders want to curl in on himself even more. He could vaguely feel guilt creeping up from the pit of his belly, but it was a distant feeling. On the heels of his worst panic attack to date, he felt a whole lot of nothing right about now.

It had all become too much all of a sudden – too many exams, too much to do, too much at stake. It felt like a loss of control that hit too close to home, emotions bubbling up to the surface all at once that he had repressed for so many years from a long and troubled childhood full of  _expectations_. In the middle of their shared dorm room he panicked, crying and grasping and clawing and he just couldn’t  _breathe_ , his whole world was collapsing in on itself, becoming infinitely smaller and smaller with every passing second. Garrett – sweet, sweet Garrett – had hushed him gently and held him in his arms until the shaking subsided.

 _“Let’s go for a ride.”_  
_“Wha–”_  
 _“Trust me.”_

Anders was so lost in thought that he barely registered it when they came to a gentle stop. He blinked. The city lights were gone. It was dark, and there was only Garrett beside him, silhouetted in moonlight. Quickly Hawke got out of the car, closed the door behind him, and came around to the passenger seat to open the door for Anders.

The blonde took the offered hand easily enough, stepping gingerly out of the car. What he saw took his breath away. His feet touched dew-laden grass, and stretched out before them as far as the eye could see was a nebulous night sky done up in glittering clouds of indigo and violet, sparkling with a hundred thousand pinpricks of starlight. He had never seen the sky so clear and so heartbreakingly beautifulbefore. They were clearly no longer in Kirkwall, with its choking smog and dirty streets and gray skies…

“You took me outside the city?” He spoke softly, disbelief coloring his words. Anders took a long, deep inhale of crystal clear air and felt lighter for it. It felt so good he could cry again. When he finally tore his gaze from the sky, he could see that they were standing on a hill overlooking the city. From this distance it looked so tiny and faraway and inconsequential. It was absolutely liberating. 

“You needed air,” Hawke said idly, rummaging through the backseat of his car. He pulled out what appeared to be a thick blanket, and returned to Anders’ side, laying it out on the grass. “I figured maybe you’d want to get away from it all for a little bit. It’s not much…not a vacation to Orlais or anything..” He rubbed the back of his neck, apologetic that he couldn’t provide that for Anders. “But I hope its enough.”

Anders just stared at him, and before Hawke could break the silence with some awkward fumbling words, the blonde caught his face in his hands and crashed their lips together. They tumbled down into the blanket like this, all clumsy knocked noses and swollen lips.

Eventually they broke apart to lay on their backs and stare at the sky, fingers entwined, sharing their hopes and fears in fevered whispers for half the night. Hawke’s firm grasp in his was like an anchor, tethering him to his body, to a world that stopped spinning and was, for once, entirely full of hope.


	2. Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Anders/Fenris
> 
> Prompt: "Fenders first kiss?"

“Your eyes…they are a hateful color.”

 _No_ , Fenris reflected, even as the words left his lips. They were  **burning** , full of fire and a passion that scorched his skin with every look cast his way. Those amber orbs were a magic of their own, and how he hated magic. Or did he crave it? It was hard to think, his head was swimming from the wine.

Anders frowned at the elf, looking tired and worn out and altogether 100% not ready to deal with Fenris’ bullshit. It had been a long day for the healer of their little group. He had spent time with each party member in kind to soothe away the last vestiges of grievous injury that not even an elfroot potion could fix in the time they had been away on the Wounded Coast. It was supposed to be a simple mission – there and back again in a matter of days, hence why they had left Anders behind – but nothing could ever be that simple for them, could it?

Fenris had been the last one he went to visit. Visit, because the stubborn warrior went straight to his derelict mansion to drink away his pains rather than let the healer see to him. Anders, angry and wanting to be contrary, practically burst through the mansion doors and demanded that the elf sit down and deal with it.

“Yes, yes, I know. I’m a horrible mage, doing terrible things to you, like _healing_ your sorry behind even when you don’t deserve it.” He huffed, and just to be obnoxious, Anders dropped his hands to brush along Fenris’ sides, as though to say  _look, im touching you and getting all my dirty mage cooties all over you, how do you like that_. There was a sharp intake of breath from Fenris, and Anders jumped when he heard glass shatter against the opposite wall, dark red wine staining the faded wallpaper like age old blood. Why did he always  _do_  that?

“Just finish and be done with it, mage.”

_I can’t be responsible for what I’ll do, if you keep touching me like that._

Anders just scoffed and took his sweet, sweet time healing him. Fenris closed his eyes, and let the feeling of healing wash over him. He had never known magic to cause anything but pain, but with Anders…with Anders it felt like....it felt.....

“There. That should do it,” Suddenly the warmth was gone, the mage's touch gone from him far too soon, leaving his skin feeling cold against the damp air. “The next time you’re too sodding stubborn to get yourself fixed up, you can go ahead and find yourself another healer–”

He didn't know why he did it. He’d blame the copious amount of wine later, but somewhere deep inside, Fenris knew better. He reached an arm around the mage’s waist and pulled him close before the blonde could get away, pressing their lips together in a bruising, burning kiss that made Anders squeak in surprise. It took only a moment for the man to melt like putty in his arms, and when they broke apart, the healer was flushed a pretty pink, eyes blown wide.

Unable and unwilling to explain himself, Fenris jerked himself upright and stalked up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him, leaving Anders to stand in the foyer dazed and utterly confused.


End file.
